Monday, December 23, 2013

Things You Should Know About Me Before We Get Married

You've known me for more than three years now and you've been the closest person to me outside of my own family. If there's anyone that could best describe me and get along with me I know that would be you.

But I have my mood swings. I have a tendency to change my opinion and change my behavior in a snap. You probably know these things by now but it bears repeating just in case your love for me has totally blinded you of all the character flaws I have. These are the things you should know and should really reflect on before you say I do.

1. I'm really a wannabe writer. I had my first blog in 2008. We didn't even have internet that time. Every weekend I lock myself in my room doodling with a pen and constructing sentences in my head. Our trash can would largely include torn pages from my notebooks. Yes, notebooks. I think I used to have three back then. I used to write poetry. I used to write how I feel. I used to make up stories and pretend I'm a famous writer of movies. Once I finished writing something I'd type in our PC, save it in my usb, go to an internet shop and upload it in my blog. Sometimes I just upload it in friendster.


2. I daydream. A lot. I don't know if this is the root cause of being a wanna-be writer or me trying so hard to write has made my imagination go crazy. I probably have twenty or more stories in my head waiting to be put on paper. Procastinator that I am, I haven't even finished a single short story out of my wild imaginings.

3. I have spent my entire life alone, and sometimes I miss it. You're caring, understanding and sweet and I know how lucky I am to have you. I've gotten used to having you around but there are just moments  that I feel I need to step back and shut everybody down to be able to think clearly. I've always been a thinker, and it's hard for me to process everything around me when I am not alone. It's so easy to go back to your default state, where being alone becomes a sanctuary where I can escape every bad aspect of my life, but in the end I need to get back up and have the courage to face these challenges. And ever since I met you you've been my ticket back to reality.

4. If I have to make a bucket list, starting my own business would be on top of it. Part of it is because I haven't accepted the idea that I'll be an employee until I die or retire from old age. Having grown in a family who relied from paycheck to paycheck, I know how hard it is to just feel trapped when all our finances are piling up. There is not a day in my life that I did not worry about my finances.

Consider this as my last warning to you before we say I do. I'll give you this one last chance to back out...or maybe not. Hahaha.

See you at the altar!

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