It All Makes Sense In The End

You long for the touch

you crave for the kisses,

the smothering hugs

you change your routine

just to catch each other

A few moments, that’s all you ask

Can we talk?

or perhaps at least chat

A minute or two, for now it will do,

even when six hours

would not satisfy you

you have stories to tell

of how your day went,

of how your time’s spent

you try to act normal,

to function like usual

but the days when you’re weak

you crumble and fear

if you can hold on much longer

you doubt your resolve

asks if it’s worth it

or will it serve you better

if you moved on altogether

you try to make sense of it

everything you’ve gone through,

everything you still want to do,

accomplish and achieve together

that’s when it hit you

no matter how far apart,

no matter how long it takes

no matter how impatient you are today

you know that there is no

other way but wait

because you’ll always long

for the touch, crave for the kisses,

at least now you have

something to look forward to

to get you by these rough times

and when you see each other

you’ll know why you waited - 

the shivering touch,

the gentle kisses,

the warm embrace

the love you’re too familiar with

you just can’t live without it

We'll Get By

I know it's hard, living like this apart. But I know it will be better and once this has come to pass, we'll just look back and be proud of what this made us, of how it made us strong, how we stuck together. This may seem empty words now but believe me, five years from now it would be one of the highest point of our relationship. This is a defining moment, and I want to prove to you that I will never let go. For the last three years you've done everything you can to keep us together, and I can't thank you enough for giving me a chance, for always believing in me.

And now it's my turn.

I've said this before - I don't want to make decisions for you because I don't want you to have any regrets. I don't want you to have to ask "what if" when someday you have a problem with money. There, you have a real chance to make your mother more comfortable! God knows what I would give to have a chance to do that for my mom. I know you're doing this for her, for your family, and I won't be the one to interfere with that. You are doing good, and I speak for them when I say, they really appreciate what you're doing.

I don't know what you feel, to be honest. I try to understand, but I haven't been away long enough to truly know how it is to live a thousand miles away. But I do know you enough that I know you think about it every night. I try to be there for you as much as I could, but I don't always say the right words to help ease your worries. I'm not good at random and spontaneous talk but I can try to explain it here.

If you ever feel abandoned and alone, think about the days we have spent together. You cooking for me, I doing house chores. Dining out together. Watching movies. Or just walking hand-in-hand. Those are genuine and lasting moments. I am not leaving you no matter what.

If you ever feel you don't understand your job, think about the countless times you've helped an officemate. tax cases? check. audit? check. audit finding? monthend close? validation? tax package? check, check, check. Every step of the way you have not only done your job, you've also helped someone do theirs. I don't even know how you can feel down or frustrated when I know you can do anything.  

If you ever feel you are neglected, don't. Just don't. There was a time when I wanted you to just be happy, because I can't bear your emotions when you are lonely. I couldn't handle it. I didn't know what to say or do to appease you. Now I just want you to be you, regardless of what you feel. I want you to share every moment with me, because that way you'll know I'm always there for you. I'll always be there for you.

I can't foresee the future, but I also know I can't see a future without you.

Pancakes and Patience

I cooked pancakes this morning. I’m no master chef, but I figured cooking is simply just a matter of following instructions. I went out and gathered all the ingredients I’ll need. After a few minutes I’m ready to cook the best-tasting pancake ever, or so I thought.

I cracked two eggs and stirred it in a bowl. The instruction says to use only one, but I figured it would add more flavor to it and I’d be the only one to eat anyway. The best part was no one’s gonna stop me ever if I don’t follow these instructions religiously. Freedom!

Something to Look Forward To

I'm gonna miss the laughs. I'm gonna miss the walks. I'm gonna miss the late nights where we talk about our future and plan a family together. I'm gonna miss how you make me feel, how we cuddle and hold each other. I'm gonna miss the petty fights. I'm gonna miss your kiss. I'm gonna miss your touch and the way you run your hands through me.

But I'm never gonna miss you.

Why? Because I ain't going nowhere. No matter where you go I'll be there. I'll be there at the airport. I'll be there when you board the plane and I'll be there once you land. I'll be there when you walk the ground trying to find your way to your new place. I'll be there at the first day of your work and everyday thereafter. I'll be with you during meal time and even after office hours. I'll be there as you try to learn your way in the office. I'll be there after you go home to help ease your fatigue. I'll be there at your nights out and when your trying to unwind. I'll be there as you discover a new city, a new culture, a new routine.

Distance is nothing. My love is far greater and longer reaching than the distance it takes to keep us apart. Never be afraid, for I will always be here for you.