7 Marriage Myths Couples Must Never Fall Into

screengrab from Blue Valentine

There is a certain level of maturity required when getting married. At the very least, the couples should have an understanding of the lifelong commitment they will undertake.The marriage advice coming from their own parents and other married friends may have a big impact on what values they will set in their family life, but it does not mean it should be followed rigorously. Your parent's marriage is not perfect, they also have they're own flaws no matter how happy they always look. Or if you came from  a broken family,you should never ignore the lessons from their failed relationship. Do not fall into the trap of believing in the marriage myths sets by our predecessors. Here are seven of them:

1. Never go to bed angry at your spouse. We can be too tired or stressed to deal with the situation right away. Sometimes it is best to settle our emotions first before dealing with the issues the next morning. I know some relationships which regretfully ended just because the argument heated up and both the couple's emotions got out of control. What started as a petty disagreement ended in a shouting match.



2. If my partner and I have a disgreement, our relationship is doomed! Since when did you require such perfection in your relationship? Unless you're getting married to your dog, best to accept that you will never find anyone who will agree to your every demands.

3. He/she should extinctively know what I want. Even the best prophets can't predict what you want. Just talk to your partner, okay?

4. My spouse should love me no matter what I do. Couples tend to get surprised once they start living on the same roof. Most would simply adjust, but some are just too big to let it pass. Drinking problems, violent tendencies, emotional problems, sex issues - these are some of the things couples tend to hide that may be a deal breaker once found out by their partners.

5. I can change him/her. Marriage is not about changing the other person to be someone you want, it's about making compromises and accepting who he/she is.

6. Marriage should always be a 50-50 relationship. Ideally, it should. But someone has to be willing to make the adjustments for the relationship to work.

7. Marriage can fulfill all of my needs. In the end, you're marrying a partner that you can share your triumphs and burdens. Couples exist to support each other, not fulfill the other's shoes.

Des and I are only starting to find out some of the silly little things that annoy us. But with both of us always ready to work things out and willing to accept each other, I say we have a good shot in succeeding at our marriage!