I know it's hard, living like this apart. But I know it will be better and once this has come to pass, we'll just look back and be proud of what this made us, of how it made us strong, how we stuck together. This may seem empty words now but believe me, five years from now it would be one of the highest point of our relationship. This is a defining moment, and I want to prove to you that I will never let go. For the last three years you've done everything you can to keep us together, and I can't thank you enough for giving me a chance, for always believing in me.
And now it's my turn.
I've said this before - I don't want to make decisions for you because I don't want you to have any regrets. I don't want you to have to ask "what if" when someday you have a problem with money. There, you have a real chance to make your mother more comfortable! God knows what I would give to have a chance to do that for my mom. I know you're doing this for her, for your family, and I won't be the one to interfere with that. You are doing good, and I speak for them when I say, they really appreciate what you're doing.
I don't know what you feel, to be honest. I try to understand, but I haven't been away long enough to truly know how it is to live a thousand miles away. But I do know you enough that I know you think about it every night. I try to be there for you as much as I could, but I don't always say the right words to help ease your worries. I'm not good at random and spontaneous talk but I can try to explain it here.
If you ever feel abandoned and alone, think about the days we have spent together. You cooking for me, I doing house chores. Dining out together. Watching movies. Or just walking hand-in-hand. Those are genuine and lasting moments. I am not leaving you no matter what.
If you ever feel you don't understand your job, think about the countless times you've helped an officemate. tax cases? check. audit? check. audit finding? monthend close? validation? tax package? check, check, check. Every step of the way you have not only done your job, you've also helped someone do theirs. I don't even know how you can feel down or frustrated when I know you can do anything.
If you ever feel you are neglected, don't. Just don't. There was a time when I wanted you to just be happy, because I can't bear your emotions when you are lonely. I couldn't handle it. I didn't know what to say or do to appease you. Now I just want you to be you, regardless of what you feel. I want you to share every moment with me, because that way you'll know I'm always there for you. I'll always be there for you.
I can't foresee the future, but I also know I can't see a future without you.
